nothing has changed
I’m writing this letter not to boast flowery words about you. This reminds me of Richard Marx’s song, “Only Reminds Me of You” where he quoted, “Happy love stories are boring as compared to the struggles of a broken heart.” This thought inspired him to write songs. And that exactly explains what stirred me to write this letter.
I know it’s been five years since we haven’t seen each other. It’s been quite some time but for me it still seemed like yesterday. And I can hardly remember a day that you haven’t entered my thoughts or a moment that you haven’t conquered my heart. Day by day, I think of you, yet every minute of it fills me with regret of how stupid I am to let you go.
I know you’re now with someone else. He might be a better guy than me, and all I wish is for the best of both of you.
Until now, I haven’t expressed my thoughts, of how you taught my heart that night—that very night—that night of eternity—when everyone else was on their tears as the music was about to end, you came by and held my hand. We danced, and glanced until you fell on my shoulder, and felt your tears. I never expected that you would spend your last dance with me—that night of eternity—that very night of the senior’s ball.
And after high school we’ve been on separate lives. After the graduation, I have no idea on what course to pursue in college—ENGINEERING, ARCHITECTURE, DENTISTRY—all of these are excellent professions. However, the only course I want to take at that time was a course that could lead you back to me, again.
I realized that there’s no such course that even if I could have all the riches in the world, still I can’t buy happiness, because my happiness is you. Since then, my life has been in misery. I thought my life was useless without you by my side. I rendered my vision for tomorrow, and decided to dedicate my life with spiritual works. I thought my life was dedicated for priesthood.
At first I believed it was a good idea. But I was wrong. Everything has turned worse. It was a foolish idea to purify my feelings for you. It’s merely an illusion to forget you. How could I forget the person who taught me how to love?
Yet, I tried to love again but I was just deceiving my self. In every girl I meet, I find a piece of you. Every time I say the word “I love you,” all I see is you. And until now I can’t deny that I’m still in love with you.
And yet it’s December again—the days when you held my hand and accepted who I am. But now I’m all alone wishing you were still here by my side.
This is my December. A Christmas of unmoved memories of you and me.
I wished to tell this in person but fate hasn’t been kind between us. Yet, it’s my choice to write this letter. It’s my choice to still love you.
Give me a reason to forget you, and I’ll show you a thousand reasons to love you.
If There Is A Chance - The Cardigans
If there is a chance, just one in this world, that we’ll ever dance again as it turns..
could you teach me how to forget you? cuz when it’s the end of the year, everything i remember is you and me..